


Asshole Old Flames and Overpriced Tampons

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Annoying ones, Exes, F/M, Supermarket fluff, is that a thing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21864805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: Who cared about asshole old flames and overpriced tampons when she had her boys.Scully runs into an ex at the local supermarket and ends up feeling really pretty grateful about things.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 1
Kudos: 123





	Asshole Old Flames and Overpriced Tampons

The last place Scully wanted to bump into an ex was in the feminine hygiene aisle of her local supermarket. She was distracted, browsing the overpriced items with very little interest. Frankly, the fact that she sometimes still had a period when she didn’t ovulate pissed her off. They had taken so much from her but they hadn’t take this annoying and expensive experience of women the world over. 

“Oh my goodness, Dana? Is that you?”

Scully shoved the tampons in her hand back on the shelf before she turned around.

“Ethan…”

God it had been years. Nine years to be exact but he looked almost exactly the same. The bastard. She self-consciously adjusted her hair, wondering if she looked the same to him. So much had happened to her since she had last seen him, she didn’t think it possible that she looked unaffected when she felt so very changed, a different person altogether.

Ethan moved towards her and enveloped her in a strong embrace before she had a chance to object. It appeared he acted exactly the same way too; blindly driving forward with his own wants, little regard for hers. Scully brought an awkward arm around his back to return the embrace.

“I can’t believe it’s you. It’s been so long. How have you been?” He asked as he pulled back from her but still stood a little too close for her liking.

“Good, thank you.” Scully answered, polite and formal. “You?”

“I’m great!” Ethan beamed. He’d always had to outdo her; if she was good he was great, if she was great he was fantastic, and on and on it would go. “I made partner at the firm last year.”

“That’s great. I know how much that must have meant to you.” And she did. It always was his biggest goal. The mean streak in her silently enjoyed that it had taken eight years for him to get there. He had always made her petty and she didn’t like how quickly she had fallen back into that pattern.

“What about you? Are you still with the bureau?”

“Erm no… I work in medicine now.” She didn’t want to give him any more information than that. She didn’t want to be having this conservation at all. Scully wondered how quickly she could leave without being rude.

“That’s amazing. Well done you. You know I never understood why you worked so hard to become a Doctor and then went and joined the FBI.” He told her, his tone of voice demonstrating just how crazy he found the notion. She was more than aware of it. He had always told her so at every given opportunity, just like most of the other male figures in her life at the time – her father, Bill, Daniel, Ethan, the list goes on. “So that spooky little assignment didn’t work out then?” His I-told-you-so glee was barely contained.

“No, it did.” Scully smiled thinking about just how much it had worked out. “I only left the bureau recently. A change of circumstance.”

Again she did not elaborate. For some reason she didn’t want Ethan to know her business. As it was he was looking at her in a way that made her uncomfortable, as if he could read all of her secrets from her face. She had forgotten just how judged she had always felt in his presence. Always under his very particular microscope and always found wanting.

Just then Mulder rounded the corner pushing their shopping cart. William was strapped to front of it, babbling away to his favourite toy giraffe. Her knight in shining Levi’s armour.

“Okay, we just need nappies and toothpaste and then we’re out of here.” Mulder said as he saw her, unaware she was engaged in conversation. Scully felt more relaxed instantly. As he stopped the cart next to her she found herself reaching out for his hand. He gave her a puzzled look but didn’t speak, instead squeezing her hand in silent reassurance.

“Ethan this is my fiancé Fox Mulder. Mulder this is Ethan, we’re old friends.”

“Well a little more than friends.” Ethan grinned as he held out his hand. Mulder released Scully’s hand to shake Ethan’s.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Mulder said. Scully supposed that he sounded polite enough to a stranger but she could tell he was less than sure about Ethan. It was probably her rigid body language and the ‘more than friends’ comment. He was eyeing the other man suspiciously; ready to jump in and defend his family if needed but waiting to follow her lead. She loved him for that. For knowing her well enough to understand she was uncomfortable but able to handle it on her own. Ethan, of course, remained clueless.

“Pleasure’s mine. And who’s this little guy?” Ethan asked, gesturing towards William. Mulder looked at Scully briefly but when she didn’t jump in he replied:

“This is William. Say hi Will.” Mulder stroked his hand over the soft back of Will’s head to get his attention. He looked up at his father, blinking slowly in quiet contentment but he didn’t look in Ethan’s direction at all. Good for you, Scully thought.

“He’s adorable. Congratulations. A change of circumstance is right Dana.” And even that managed to sound patronising. Scully only nodded in response, a tight lipped smile on her face. “And did you say fiancé? Wedding coming after the baby… I bet your father had something to say about that.” Ethan’s was tone entirely too knowing.

Scully’s spine physically stiffened. This obviously did not go unnoticed by Mulder and the next thing she felt was his arm wrapping around her back and holding her hip, subtly drawing her closer to him. It was a silent show of solidarity and it meant more to her than she could say.

“My father died, a long time ago now.” Scully answered rather blandly. She was stating the fact and refusing to let the emotion enter into her voice. She hated the fact that in all likelihood Ethan had a point – her father would have certainly had something to say had he been alive.

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that. Say, Fox was it?” Ethan was clearly on a roll now, he didn’t even wait for Mulder to reply before he continued: “I must say I admire you. When I was with Dana getting any kind of commitment out of her was more painful than pulling teeth. I mean I’m talking about the simple stuff here like seeing each other more than once a week, let alone marriage and children. And then when we broke up I always figured she’d end up one of those career types. You know the women that have done amazingly well in their jobs but don’t really have anything else to show for their lives. Clearly I was wrong. You must tell me your secret.”

“My secret?” Mulder answered tersely. His grip on Scully’s waist got unconsciously tighter, he was losing his cool and quickly.

She supposed she had always expected this conversation to head somewhere near where they’d ended up; she knew Ethan and that was probably why she didn’t want to engage with him or tell him anything much about her life. No matter what he could always find a way to put her down. But this was new to Mulder and self-restraint wasn’t exactly his forte. She became nervous of how this would end. Though undoubtedly watching Mulder punch Ethan would bring a certain level of satisfaction.

“Of how you got her to settle down, forget that whole FBI nonsense. Hey, maybe I should have just knocked her up without warning – seems to have worked for you!”

“Excuse me?!” Mulder demanded, leaving her side altogether and taking a menacing step towards Ethan. Scully grabbed Mulder’s forearm in warning but she wasn’t convinced it was going to work. She wasn’t convinced that she wanted it to. Ethan appeared completely oblivious to what was coming his way.

“Anyway, I’ve got to run, I’m late for a dinner. Lovely to meet you Fox and to see you again Dana.” And with that he was gone. Mulder watched him walk away with something akin to shock covering his features. Scully could see the question playing out in his eyes: _who the hell was that guy?_ And to think in his most self-deprecating moments Mulder actually thought he was the most questionable dating decision she had ever made. If only.

“Seems like a great guy. Can’t believe it didn’t work out between you two.” He stated as he turned to look at her. She’d expected the surprise to have morphed into mirth but it hadn’t. She could see him deliberately seeking out her eyes; silently asking her if she was okay. He was incredibly sweet when he wanted to be.

“It was your doing actually.” At that he just looked totally confused. “When I started working on the x-files Ethan didn’t like it. He told me to make a choice. He didn’t win.” Scully concluded in a dramatic, conspiratorial whisper. And there was the mirth in his eyes that she had expected.

“Wait – you were with him when we first met?”

“Yeah.”

“You were with him when you came to my motel room that first case and threw off your robe within about five seconds of being there.” Now his face was entirely too delighted with itself and she huffed. She couldn’t really be annoyed at him though; she’d just had a rather stark reminder of what her life could have been like had he not been in it and she was really so grateful that he was the man she was going to marry in less than a month’s time. Damn him.

“Yes.” Scully answered at last, her voice a clear warning but Mulder being Mulder ignored it completely, just as she knew he would.

“You were with him when you said: _Agent Mulder I need you to look at something. What are these strange marks on my perfectly soft skin, just above my perfectly rounded little ass?_ ” She wanted to be mad about both the terrible impersonation of her 28-year-old self and his embellished account of the facts but she found she was smiling despite herself. She hit him in the chest.

“Shut up. I did not say that.”

“Sure you did. I mean it might have been more in the subject of the conversation but that was pretty much what happened.” He grinned stupidly at her. For the millionth time since she’d met him Scully rolled her eyes. 

Mulder’s hands found her arms that were wrapped tightly around her upper body and he pulled her towards him until she landed against his chest with a small oof. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. Usually such a display in public would have had her pushing him off with a reminder that they weren’t at home. But if she was honest with herself she was a little shook up by the meeting with Ethan and just how much he could still get under her skin. She welcomed the comfort Mulder’s body brought. And then Will, who had been miraculously well-behaved through the entire strange encounter, decided to have a major falling out with his giraffe, hurling him half-way down the aisle. Naturally he started wailing about the injustice of it all.

“You get the toothpaste and I’ll get the nappies. Then let’s get out of here.” Scully told his chest.

“Deal.” Mulder let her go with one last kiss to her hair. He swung the cart around, bending to pick up the long-suffering giraffe as he went. “Now we can’t just hit everyone that annoys us Will,” he told their son as he handed back the toy. “Otherwise Daddy would have to go and find all of Mommy’s exes and show them what’s what.”

Scully smiled to herself. Who cared about asshole old flames and overpriced tampons when she had her boys. She grabbed the abandoned box from the shelf and walked towards the baby section. It was time to leave – and she wouldn’t be taking any thoughts about Ethan with her whatsoever – she had the rest of her life to be living. 


End file.
